Oh God, F*ck Me

I’ve been gone for quite a while, I know. Thanks to depression, I decided to stow away in my room and not come out for a long time. Lately, I’ve been trying to get back into the groove of life, including my writing. Someone on a social site I’m on also stated I needed a hub for all my writing, so I thought ‘hey, let’s revamp one of those many blogs I stop and start.’

Reddit has a lot of great potential for writers. There’s a subreddit designed specifically for writer prompts to spark the imagination of everyone who’s either stuck or just needs a nudge of imagination. Recently, someone submitted this doozie: God wants to be involved in our world, but something/someone is doing him.

Of course, the OP (original poster) realized he made a typo in his prompt and stated: “Not ‘doing,’ but ‘stopping,’ although if you wanted to go that route you could I guess.”

As someone who loves to go naughty, I decided to write about sexing God. Enjoy.

Father, do me, for you know exactly what you do in bed.

Father, do me, for you know exactly what you do to me in bed.

I’d fuck God. I’d fuck God so hard. Or let him fuck me.

I imagine him a mixture of Hugh Jackman with Channing Tatum because I like big muscular guys but with an accent and a bit of a beard. He’s sophisticated, almost Bond-like, but he’s just here to have a good time, not to play or seduce me.

We decide to play Cards Against Humanity because despite some of the horrible, off-color jokes, God has a sense of humor. We’re laughing, joking, having a good time over some drinks and good food. People come over to enjoy the space with God, and we welcome them. God, however, doesn’t lose focus off me. He wants to make me feel special, like I really matter, because to him, I do.

We end the night with some cuddling and kissing. His hairy chest against mine. His big, burly hands explore my body as he chews on my ears and nuzzles my neck. He goes down on me, gets me erect, licks my balls, and even rims me. His tongue feels incredible against my hairy hole, and I beg him to fuck me.

He doesn’t scold me for being vulgar. This isn’t vulgar. This is love. Two beings just enjoying each other’s company, feeling so close to one another. He comes back up, kisses me, and then continues to climb up until his crotch is in my face. His cock: it’s perfect. Seven and a half inches, erect, hard, but not too thick. He has a good set of hairy balls that I lick and suckle on.

When he’s ready, and I have salivated all over his rigid member, he returns to my hole, spits in his hand and begins to finger me, opening me up until I’m ready for him to enter. He does so slowly, knowing that the pain will become bearable as long as he doesn’t shove in too quickly. Finally, he’s at the hilt, and he bends down to hold and kiss me.

I hum into his lips, loving the feeling of his perfect cock in my tight hole. “Go ahead,” I say in between kisses. “Start fucking me.”

He smiles devilishly and does as he’s told. He slowly exits, just an inch or two at a time before returning back inside me. Eventually, all of his dick thrusts in and out of my hole, his balls slapping against my ass as he goes faster and harder. He’s holding me though, growling in ecstasy at the feel of my hole wrapping around his dick each time he enters.

We make out, our breathing becoming faster as he continues to drill me. My hands have found his perfect, round ass and I’m pushing him into me, wanting more and more of him inside. One of his hands twists my nipple as his mouth stays on mine and I moan into him.

He pulls away to claim, “I’m going to cum. Where do you want it?”

“In me. Dear God, cum in me,” I beg.

He goes faster, his cock going all the way out except the tip of his head, and he rams it back in but there’s no pain whatsoever. His balls slap faster and faster against my ass and I feel his dick growing thick and hard as he’s ready to blow. I begin to jerk my cock as I feel the head of his dick ramming against my prostate. It takes seconds for me to approach lift off.

“I’m gonna cum,” I say.

He leans forward and kisses me, as he reaches between us to jerk my dick. He continues to plow me, and we cum together. His load coats my insides, and my load covers our tummies. We yell in each other’s mouths in delight at the release of our tensions.

He smiles as we continue to kiss. “Thank you,” he says.

“No, thank you.”

He pulls out and helps me up. We shower together and dry one another off before heading to bed. We cuddle, me little spoon with his big arms wrapped around me. I pass out with him lightly kissing my neck.

The next morning, I wake up to find a note that reads:

“Thank you for the amazing night. You are blessed in so many ways. Love you, always and forever.” – God

Note: I would have put a NSFW tag, but the title literally says ‘Fuck me,’ even if it has an asterisk.

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